Friday, January 30, 2009

What's cooler than being cool?

...ICE COLD!

It's been relatively warmer lately, compared to the Inaug and the days it was sandwiched between. But warmer is like mid-30's, not even. So, it's still cold. I have learned and accepted the fact that I have never known cold until about 21 days ago, and that any previous use of "cold" was executed under a very naive, ill-informed understanding of the word, or just thrown in conversation as small talk. I have since been enlightened. I now know what it means to be cold. Of course, Obamsky thinks this winter is nothing compared to Chi-town. With all due respect, Mr. Prez, since I am from California and Indonesia, I believe I have every right to be a wuss.

You know it's cold when:
  • You've just had dinner and all you want is a bowl of soup.
  • There is no use for a refrigerator. You buy sushi in the morning, take it on the hourlong commute, and by lunchtime it's still as fresh as ever.
  • Personal space is impractical. You will press up against anyone just to stay warm.
  • Your face feels like it has a thousand needles in it.
  • A shooting pain runs through your body, down to your fingers and toes, followed by a complete loss of sensation, and all you can think about is the movie "Alive."
  • You're waiting for the DC Circulator (a bus) and after standing outside for five minutes, you begin to lose your mind and start singing "circulator, circulator, you're a circulator...OH!" to the tune of Britney Spears' "Womanizer."
  • You've never been so excited to see a bus in your entire life.
  • You...can...own...ly...talk...one....syl...la...bull...at...a...time.
  • Your thinking becomes so impaired that amidst walking briskly with hands under your arms, you wonder "am I wearing any pants?" and look down just to check.
  • You can see your BREATH.

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